NextGenMen: Building the Boys Who Will Break the Cycle
There are boys in South Africa who walk to school with heavy backpacks, not just filled with books, but with burdens they should not have to carry alone. Some are caretakers to younger siblings. Others have lost parents. Many live in households where silence speaks louder than words, and emotions are seen as weakness. These boys are told to "toughen up," to "act like a man," but no one ever teaches them what that truly means. And so, they grow up with armor instead of emotional tools. They become adults too early, yet never fully equipped.
At School of Hard Knocks (SOHK), we are choosing a different path. Our NextGenMen program is a radical commitment to guiding boys into manhood with emotional literacy, resilience, self-awareness, and purpose. It is not about softening boys or shaming masculinity. It is about rewriting the script entirely. A boy should not have to suffer in silence. He should be allowed to feel, to heal, and to grow.
The Pressure Cooker: Understanding What Boys Face
In South Africa, we have a crisis. One that is not often spoken about in depth. Many boys in townships, rural villages, and urban sprawl experience early trauma, abandonment, exposure to violence, and a lack of nurturing guidance. For some, home is unstable. For others, school becomes the only structured space. Even then, schools are overwhelmed. Teachers are burned out. Mental health support is nearly nonexistent.
Without healthy outlets or role models, these boys turn to the only things available: isolation, aggression, online escapism, or street life. They are told to be strong, but what they really learn is how to suppress pain. The result? A growing generation of young men disconnected from themselves and from their communities. When boys are not given language for their internal world, they act out in the external one.
That is why emotional development cannot wait. We cannot leave it to chance or hope that boys will just figure it out. We have to teach it. And we have to make it cool to care.
NextGenMen: A Blueprint for Emotional Leadership
SOHK’s NextGenMen is more than a program. It is a movement. It starts in the schools, in the fields, in the classrooms, but it doesn’t end there. It follows boys into their homes, into their friendships, into their sense of self.
Our curriculum is broken into pillars:
1. Emotional Literacy
We start with the basics. What is anger? What is sadness? What does anxiety feel like in the body? Boys are given the language and tools to recognize what is happening inside them. This is a breakthrough in itself. Most of them have never been asked to name their feelings before.
2. Safe Expression
Through peer groups, journaling, movement exercises, and facilitated conversations, boys learn how to express themselves in a way that is authentic but safe. They learn that crying is not shameful, and that rage has roots. They begin to understand that feelings do not make them weak. Hiding them does.
3. Rebuilding Masculinity
We openly challenge the myths of masculinity. That real men do not show fear. That strength equals dominance. That vulnerability is a flaw. Instead, we show them that true strength is in self-control, kindness, honesty, and accountability. We ask them to define the kind of men they want to be — and we give them the support to become that.
4. Resilience and Mental Health
Boys are taught to manage their stress, anxiety, and depressive feelings in healthy ways. We introduce grounding techniques, meditation, breathing, physical activity, and emotional check-ins. We also educate them on what mental health actually is — a part of everyone’s daily life, not a taboo topic.
5. Healthy Relationships and Consent
Through guided scenarios and real-life role-play, they learn about healthy boundaries, mutual respect, listening skills, and the meaning of true consent. We help them understand power dynamics and their role in preventing harm.
6. Vision and Identity
We ask each boy, “Who are you when no one is watching?” and “Who do you want to become?” These aren’t just classroom questions. They become life anchors. With support, each boy develops a vision for himself that includes values, goals, and dreams — not just survival.
Real Boys. Real Impact.
We’ve seen boys transform.
There’s Sipho, age 14, who joined the program after multiple suspensions. At home, his uncle drank. At school, he fought anyone who challenged him. At first, he barely spoke. But something shifted in week four when he stayed behind after a session and asked, “Do you think I’m a bad person?” That moment opened the door. We worked with him one-on-one. He began to take ownership of his emotions, apologizing to a peer unprompted for pushing him. By the end of the term, he had perfect attendance and was nominated by his group as a “leader in progress.”
Then there’s Thando, who was always the quiet one. No one expected him to speak up, let alone lead. But during a storytelling exercise about pain and pride, he opened up about losing his mother at age eight. For the first time, his classmates saw him. And he saw himself. The next week, he offered to help new participants “feel safe” because he remembered what it felt like not to.
These aren’t success stories because the boys became perfect. They’re powerful because the boys became present — to themselves and each other.
The Culture Shift We Are Creating
The ripple effect is real. When one boy becomes emotionally aware, it affects the way he speaks to his sister, how he responds to pressure from peers, how he handles setbacks at school. It becomes contagious.
Teachers report fewer discipline issues. Parents notice improved communication. Peers begin to adopt the language of accountability and care. The school begins to breathe differently.
We are not just helping individual boys. We are helping entire systems begin to heal.
Social Research and Why This Model Works
A 2023 study by the South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG) found that more than 60 percent of youth aged 13 to 19 reported symptoms of anxiety or depression, but fewer than 10 percent had access to consistent support.
According to UNICEF South Africa, mental health services are mostly inaccessible in township and rural areas, and boys are far less likely than girls to reach out for help. This is not due to lack of need — it is because of stigma and silence.
Studies have also shown that group-based interventions focused on emotional literacy and peer support dramatically reduce rates of school dropout, substance use, and interpersonal violence.
That is why SOHK’s model is grounded in peer-to-peer connection, consistent coaching, and long-term engagement. It is not a drop-in workshop. It is a journey.
We Cannot Do This Alone
Every boy deserves someone who will look them in the eye and say, “I see you. I believe in you. Let’s build your future together.”
To continue and expand this program, we need your help.
We need more trained facilitators. We need transport stipends. We need materials, meals, journals, uniforms, and safe spaces. We need your presence, your support, and your belief.
How You Can Get Involved
Volunteer as a mentor, facilitator, or program assistant
Donate monthly or one-time to support our expansion
Partner your school or organization with SOHK
Share this blog and raise awareness
Sponsor a boy’s full program journey
You don’t have to change the whole world. Just change the world for one boy. The ripple effect will handle the rest.
The Future We Are Building
Imagine a South Africa where young men listen before they lash out. Where apology is a sign of strength. Where leaders in sport, business, and politics speak with emotional depth and courage.
Imagine classrooms where boys feel safe to express and explore. Homes where they are allowed to grieve and dream. Friendships rooted in mutual respect, not competition.
We are not imagining this just for the sake of a vision board. We are working toward it, every day, in classrooms and community centers across Cape Town and beyond.
You can be part of it. You already are.
Support School of Hard Knocks and the NextGenMen program. Not tomorrow. Not someday. Now.