The Power of Social Media and the Responsibility of Monitoring Your Child's Use
In today's digital world, the influence of social media is powerful, immediate, and deeply personal. For young people growing up in South Africa and across the globe, platforms like TikTok, Instagram, Snapchat, and Facebook are more than just apps. They are social lifelines, entertainment channels, status symbols, identity shapers, and emotional escape routes. For many, they are the first and last thing they look at each day.
But as much as social media has the power to connect, inspire, and educate, it also has a darker side. For parents, caregivers, and educators, this presents an increasingly difficult challenge. How do we empower our children to use technology wisely while also protecting their mental health? How do we talk about the risks without shutting down their world?
At the School of Hard Knocks, we believe that mental health education must keep pace with the digital age. That includes talking openly about screen time, digital boundaries, and the emotional toll of being constantly online. It includes empowering parents with tools, understanding, and strategies to monitor usage—not from a place of punishment, but from a place of protection and care.
Let us explore what social media really does to our young people, and what we can do to guide them.
The Double-Edged Sword of Social Media
Social media is not inherently bad. In fact, for many teens, it can be a source of connection, creativity, and community. It allows them to stay in touch with friends, explore their interests, express themselves, and learn about the world. For some, it is even a way to find inspiration and role models who reflect their struggles and dreams.
But the other side is often more subtle, more harmful, and more pervasive. Social media can distort self-image, trigger anxiety, and feed addictive patterns. Algorithms are designed to keep users hooked. Content is curated to be viral, often at the expense of truth or safety. And the pressure to be constantly available, likable, and relevant can wear down even the most confident young person.
We are seeing the impact in our communities. Students who once loved sport are now too tired from scrolling late at night. Learners who used to enjoy writing or drawing feel uninspired because they are comparing their work to influencers. Young girls worry about their weight because of filtered images. Young boys chase clout online while bottling up their real emotions offline. Some students check their phones over 100 times a day, without even realizing it.
This is not a parenting failure. This is the environment our children are being raised in. But with the right support, we can change how they respond to it.
Understanding the Real Impact on Mental Health
Multiple studies have now confirmed the link between excessive social media use and poor mental health outcomes among youth. A 2023 report from the South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG) highlighted that over 60 percent of teens felt more anxious after being online for more than three hours a day. Another international study from the Journal of Adolescence found that young people who spent more than three hours daily on social media were twice as likely to report symptoms of depression or self-harm.
These numbers are not just statistics. They show up as withdrawn behaviour, poor sleep, difficulty concentrating, body image struggles, and low self-esteem. We see it when students stop participating in group activities. We hear it in the way they describe themselves. We feel it in the energy they bring—or do not bring—into the room.
And what makes it more complicated is that many youth do not want to talk about how social media affects them. They fear losing access to their platforms. They fear judgment. And often, they are not even aware that their anxiety or sadness is related to their screen use.
What Monitoring Really Means
Monitoring your child’s social media use is not about spying, shaming, or total control. It is about being involved, informed, and intentional. It is about building trust so your child knows they can talk to you about what they are experiencing online. It is about noticing changes in behaviour and knowing when to step in. And most importantly, it is about being a digital role model.
Here are some effective ways to monitor and support your child’s digital life:
1. Create an open-door policy for digital conversations
Let your child know they can talk to you about anything they see or feel online. Be curious, not reactive. Ask questions like, “What’s your favourite thing about TikTok right now?” or “How do you feel after scrolling through Instagram?”
2. Set realistic screen time boundaries
Co-create guidelines with your child. For example, no screens during meals or after a certain time at night. Encourage screen-free activities on weekends. Make it a family effort, not a punishment.
3. Teach critical thinking skills
Help your child understand that not everything online is real. Talk about filters, fake news, influencers, and algorithms. Encourage them to ask, “Why am I seeing this post?” or “How does this content make me feel?”
4. Use parental control tools with consent
There are tools that help track time spent online, flag harmful content, or limit access to certain apps. Use them as a learning tool, not a weapon. Let your child know what you are monitoring and why.
5. Check in emotionally, not just technically
Monitoring is not just about screen time. Ask how your child feels about their online world. Do they feel pressure to post? Are they being bullied? Are they comparing themselves to others?
6. Model balanced social media use
Children watch what we do. If we are constantly on our phones, they will be too. Practice what you preach. Show them that it is okay to take breaks, to be bored, or to unplug.
What SOHK Is Doing to Support Digital Awareness
At the School of Hard Knocks, we are not just addressing what happens on the rugby field or in the classroom. We are addressing what happens on the phone screen too.
We are integrating conversations around social media into our mental health sessions. We talk about comparison, body image, FOMO, and digital escape. We help students identify when scrolling is a sign of stress or sadness. We build emotional literacy so they can name their feelings instead of numbing them.
We are also working with parents and caregivers through workshops and community events. We know many parents did not grow up with smartphones. That is why we create spaces for honest conversation and practical support. We do not judge. We educate and empower.
A Call to Action for Parents and Guardians
You do not need to be a tech expert to protect your child’s mental health. You just need to be present. You need to be willing to talk, to listen, and to guide. You need to understand that social media is not going away, but that we can help our children use it wisely.
Start by asking questions. Sit down and scroll with them. Laugh at the videos they love. Ask about the influencers they follow. Then gently open the door to deeper conversations. What makes them feel proud online? What makes them feel insecure? What could they do instead of scrolling when they feel overwhelmed?
Your presence matters more than any app ever will.
We Cannot Take It Away, But We Can Talk About It
The digital world is here to stay. We cannot shield our children from every harmful post, but we can give them the tools to process what they see. We can create home environments where mental health is a normal part of conversation. We can build community programs like SOHK that offer structure, sport, support, and safety. We can show our children that they do not have to face the online world alone.
Together, we can raise a generation that is emotionally literate, digitally aware, and deeply connected to what matters most: real relationships, healthy habits, and a strong sense of self.
If this mission speaks to you, we invite you to support the School of Hard Knocks. Volunteer your time. Donate to our programs. Join us in our work to empower the next generation of resilient, reflective, and emotionally strong youth.
Because when we protect our children’s minds, we protect our future.