You’ve probably heard the saying, “It takes a village to raise a child.”
At School of Hard Knocks (SOHK), we know it takes even more than that.

It takes consistent support, caring adults, safe spaces, trauma-informed tools, mental health interventions, and — yes — funding.

Every rand you donate isn’t just a number on a receipt. It’s a lifeline. A spark. A second chance. A future rewritten.

In this blog, we’re lifting the curtain on where your money actually goes, why your support is vital, and what kind of real-world impact you’re making when you choose to back SOHK.

Because when you give to SOHK, you’re not giving to a programme — you’re giving to a person.

Who Are We Helping?

Our work focuses on learners in no- and low-fee government schools across Cape Town, South Africa. These are schools where resources are stretched, trauma is common, and learners face challenges most adults would struggle to survive.

We work with:

• Adolescent boys growing up in violent communities, pressured to "act tough" even when they’re hurting.

• Girls and young womxn carrying the weight of caregiving, harassment, shame, and emotional exhaustion.

• Entire classrooms full of children struggling with anxiety, depression, grief, and low self-worth — often silently.

• Educators and staff who are doing their best but are overwhelmed, under-trained in trauma, and under-supported.

These learners aren’t just in need of academic support. They need mental health care, emotional safety, role models, structure, and belief. That’s where your donation steps in.

What We Offer (That Your Donation Supports)

Every programme we run is holistic, trauma-informed, and heart-led. We don’t just teach — we build relationship-based interventions that change lives.

Here’s a breakdown of the key initiatives your donation funds:

Mental Health & Emotional Literacy Sessions

Through group work and one-on-one lay-counselling, learners receive:

• Safe spaces to talk and process

• Psycho-education about trauma, identity, emotion regulation, and self-esteem

• DBT-informed tools to manage distress, anger, and anxiety

• Validation for their lived experiences — many for the first time

What your donation covers: Training facilitators, materials (workbooks, journals), transportation, and stipends for staff to deliver weekly sessions year-round.

Sport-Based Life Skills Coaching

We use rugby as a metaphor and medium for growth. Every week, learners participate in sessions that teach:

• Teamwork and resilience

• Emotional regulation through movement

• Leadership and accountability

• Positive masculinity and cooperation

What your donation covers: Coaching staff, equipment, training kits, venue access, water and transport to and from training grounds.

NxtGenWomxn: Empowering Young Girls

A 6-week journey rooted in emotional literacy, boundaries, self-worth, consent, and resilience. We help girls explore:

• Body image

• Mental health

• Goal setting

• Sisterhood and solidarity

What your donation covers: Facilitator training, DBT worksheets, snacks for sessions, follow-up resources, and support circles.

NxtGenMen: Redefining Healthy Masculinity

A powerful 6-week intervention teaching boys how to:

• Express emotions without shame

• Unlearn toxic masculinity

• Prevent gender-based violence

• Build empathy and emotional regulation

What your donation covers: Role play scripts, printed handouts, facilitator support, and mentorship follow-ups.

Safeguarding & Referrals

We don’t do this work alone. Our safeguarding officers connect learners with:

• Social workers

• Trauma therapists

• Food and housing support

• Academic catch-up programmes

What your donation covers: Phones, data, printing referral letters, transport for urgent cases, and time spent coordinating care for high-risk learners.

How Much Does It Really Take?

To give you full transparency, here’s a breakdown of some real SOHK costs:

Item Cost (ZAR)

• One learner’s full-year mental health support R2,800

• Weekly transport for one team of learners R750/month

• Training one community coach R6,000 once-off

• One set of rugby balls, cones, bibs, kits R2,500

• Printing DBT materials for 30 learners R850

• Emergency referral support per high-risk case R500–R1,200

• Monthly stipend for a community facilitator R3,500

That means even a R100 donation goes a long way.

What Happens When You Give

When you donate to SOHK, you create actual transformation. Here’s what your money becomes:

✅ A girl learns how to say no, set boundaries, and feel proud of her body.
✅ A boy discovers that crying doesn’t make him weak — it makes him human.
✅ A teenager in crisis gets connected to a social worker who ensures she’s safe.
✅ A teacher feels supported by trained SOHK staff instead of carrying everything alone.
✅ A classroom becomes more peaceful because learners have tools, language, and trust.

That’s what your donation does.

It doesn’t just “support programming.”
It breaks cycles. It saves lives. It builds futures.

How You Can Give (and Stay Connected)

Ready to make an impact? Here’s how to donate today:

🔗 Visit: www.schoolofhardknocks.co.za/donate
EFT or SnapScan: Safe, quick, and secure
Monthly Giving: Become a consistent supporter (even R100/month makes a difference)
Corporate Sponsorships: Email info@schoolofhardknocks.co.za to fund a school, team, or programme
In-Kind Support: Equipment, printing, transport, or venue access? Let’s talk.

Make your donation today.
Change one life.
Change many.

👉 Donate Now

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"Boys don’t cry."
"Man up."
"Don’t be soft."
"Violence is just part of growing up."

These aren’t just playground taunts — they’re messages deeply woven into the fabric of how boys are taught to exist in the world. For generations, masculinity has been defined by stoicism, dominance, and emotional suppression. And the consequences? Disconnection. Depression. Violence. Isolation. A crisis in identity that hurts not only boys themselves but everyone around them.

At School of Hard Knocks (SOHK), we’re challenging that narrative.

Through our NxtGenMen programme, we’re helping adolescent boys and young men rewrite the rules of manhood — to build emotional intelligence, reduce gender-based violence, and create a generation that isn’t afraid to lead with strength and sensitivity.

This blog explores how we got here, what’s at stake, and how we can start breaking the boy code — together.

The Masculinity Myth: Where It All Begins

From a young age, boys are fed a very narrow script:

• Show no vulnerability.

• Use anger instead of words.

• Win at all costs.

• Seek dominance, not connection.

• Reject anything seen as “feminine.”

This is the "boy code" — an unspoken, rigid set of rules that boys are pressured to follow or risk ridicule and rejection.

In many South African communities, where systemic violence, poverty, and intergenerational trauma are already present, this code becomes even more dangerous. When emotional expression is policed, and power is measured through control or aggression, we get:

• Higher rates of interpersonal violence

• Deep struggles with mental health and suicide

• Increased gender-based violence

• Boys who grow into men who don’t know how to ask for help, say “I’m hurting,” or love without fear

It’s not a crisis of masculinity. It’s a crisis of limited masculinity — and we need a new story.

What Is Healthy Masculinity?

At SOHK, we define healthy masculinity as the ability for boys and men to be:

• Emotionally aware

• Accountable for their actions

• Non-violent and respectful in relationships

• Able to express vulnerability without shame

• Confident without dominating others

It’s not about rejecting masculinity — it’s about expanding it. It’s about saying:

“You can be strong and soft.”
“You can cry and still be courageous.”
“You can lead without needing to control.”
“You are still a man if you ask for help.”

Inside NxtGenMen: How We’re Changing the Narrative

Our NxtGenMen programme is a 6-session intervention aimed at reducing violence perpetrated by men, especially violence against women. We work with adolescent boys in under-resourced schools, delivering weekly sessions that blend:

• Group dialogue on emotions, identity, and relationships

• Mindfulness and emotional regulation practices

• Role play and scenario-based learning

• Accountability and empathy training

• Physical movement and team-building activities

We ask tough questions:

• What does it mean to “be a man”?

• Where did you learn that?

• Has it helped or hurt you?

• How do we treat people we care about when we’re angry?

• What are better ways to respond?

And the results? Boys start to talk. They soften. They think before they act. They realize their emotions aren’t a threat — they’re a compass.

What’s Holding Boys Back?

Even with powerful interventions, boys still face major roadblocks:

• Peer pressure to stay “tough”

• Lack of safe male role models

• Teachers or caregivers who dismiss emotional expression as weakness

• Fear of being seen as “less than” if they don’t conform

• Past trauma that hasn’t been acknowledged or healed

That’s why programmes like NxtGenMen are so vital. They don’t just teach skills — they create safe spaces for boys to experiment with a new way of being.

What Can Schools and Adults Do to Help?

Whether you’re a teacher, parent, coach, or caregiver, you play a role in how boys view masculinity. Here are five things you can start doing today:

1. Validate Their Emotions

Instead of “stop crying” or “you’re overreacting,” try:
🗣️ “It makes sense you’d feel that way.”
🗣️ “That sounds really hard — I’m here for you.”

2. Model Healthy Masculinity

Let boys see men who cry, apologize, cook, care, and connect. Representation matters — and boys need to witness men who live outside the old script.

3. Interrupt Harmful Language

Don’t let “man up,” “don’t be gay,” or “you throw like a girl” slide. These comments reinforce shame and violence. Challenge them calmly and consistently.

4. Create Safe Expression Spaces

Circle time, journaling, art, mentorship — give boys outlets for reflection that aren’t always verbal. Not every boy will “talk it out” — and that’s okay.

5. Teach Consent and Accountability Early

Teach boys that “no means no” — not just in sex, but in everyday relationships. Teach them that accountability is strength — not shame.

Real Stories, Real Change

We’ve seen a Grade 9 learner go from being suspended for fighting to becoming a peer mentor, guiding younger boys through anger management.

We’ve seen groups of boys start holding each other accountable — calling out misogynistic jokes or stepping in when someone’s being bullied.

We’ve seen tears in rooms where tears were never allowed before.

This is what happens when boys feel safe enough to be their whole selves.

Final Thoughts: A New Kind of Strength

We don’t want to raise softer boys. We want to raise stronger boys — boys who are strong enough to feel, to lead with heart, to protect without harming, and to love without fear.

The next generation of men is watching us. And we get to decide what kind of world they inherit — and what kind of men they’ll become.

At SOHK, we’re building that future one boy, one breath, one breakthrough at a time.

Want to support this work?
You can sponsor a NxtGenMen cohort, bring the programme to your school, or donate to help us train more facilitators.
Visit www.schoolofhardknocks.co.za or follow us on Instagram @sohk_sa

At School of Hard Knocks (SOHK), we’re often asked why we spend so much time focusing on mental health, emotional regulation, and social connection — especially in schools where academic performance and discipline are often the top priorities.

Our answer is simple: before a child can learn, they must first feel safe.

Mental health isn’t a luxury add-on in education — it’s the very foundation for any meaningful growth. If we don’t prioritize emotional safety, resilience, and connection, then everything else — math, science, life skills — becomes noise that young people can’t tune into.

This blog explores why supporting the whole person — their mind, emotions, and relationships — is the key to unlocking their whole potential, and how schools can become not just institutions of learning, but ecosystems of healing and hope.

The Inner World of a Learner

Imagine waking up each morning not knowing whether there will be food on the table, if the adults in your home will be angry, absent, or overwhelmed. Imagine walking to school past violence, or being bullied by classmates without anyone stepping in. Now imagine being expected to concentrate, perform, behave, and "do your best" all day.

For many students in the communities SOHK serves, this isn’t imagination — it’s reality.

Mental health challenges for young people don’t always show up as tears or withdrawal. They show up as “acting out,” zoning out, or shutting down. And when those behaviors are met with punishment instead of compassion, we lose the opportunity to reach the person behind the problem.

The truth? What we call “behavior” is often communication — and every child deserves to be heard.

From Survival to Stability: Why Mental Health Work Matters

When we step into a school with SOHK’s programs — whether it’s our year-long embedded model, our NxtGenMen masculinity workshops, or our NxtGenWomxn DBT-based resilience sessions — we’re not just bringing tools. We’re bringing a new way of seeing learners.

Here’s what we know:

• Learners can’t access executive function (i.e., critical thinking, self-regulation, focus) when they are in a state of constant stress.

• Trauma-informed education helps restore safety in the body and mind, which is a precondition for engagement.

• When we normalize conversations around emotions, mental health, and wellbeing, we create communities where students can thrive — not just survive.

Mental health work isn’t soft. It’s structural. And it changes outcomes.

SOHK’s Framework for Wellbeing: The Core Pillars

Through our work in schools, we’ve identified five key pillars that support learner wellbeing and development. These aren’t just theories — they are the principles that inform every game, every group circle, and every one-on-one check-in we do.

1. Connection Over Correction

Young people don’t change because we tell them to. They change because they feel seen, supported, and safe.

At SOHK, we emphasize relationship-based work. Our coaches and lay-counselors are consistent, trauma-informed adults who build real trust over time. This alone can be life-changing for learners who have never felt emotionally safe with an adult before.

Correction without connection breeds resistance. But connection creates space for growth.

2. Emotional Literacy is Essential

How can we expect learners to regulate their emotions when no one has taught them what those emotions are?

We teach students how to name what they feel — anger, shame, sadness, fear — and then offer healthy ways to manage those emotions: through movement, breathwork, expression, and connection. In NxtGenWomxn, for example, we use DBT techniques like distress tolerance and mindfulness to help girls build real-world emotional tools.

Because emotional intelligence isn’t an extra skill — it’s a life skill.

3. Movement as Medicine

We use sport — particularly rugby — as more than just physical training. It’s a metaphor for life. Rugby teaches teamwork, resilience, structure, and control of aggression. It provides a healthy outlet for stress and rage — which many of our boys, in particular, are carrying but don’t know how to express.

Even during the COVID-19 lockdown, we distributed home workouts and movement challenges to keep students physically and emotionally regulated. Movement reduces cortisol, boosts serotonin, and fosters confidence.

4. Circle Work and Safe Expression

Our group circles give learners a space to speak — and a space to be heard.

In a world that often silences young people, especially those from marginalized communities, these circles become sacred. We discuss themes like identity, masculinity, peer pressure, grief, and hope. We listen without judgment. We validate without fixing.

This builds emotional safety and social cohesion — the foundation for true transformation.

5. Goals, Growth, and Belief

Every learner in our program sets personal goals. Not just academic goals, but emotional and behavioral ones. We help them define who they want to become — and then walk beside them as they take small steps each week.

Because when someone believes in you — truly, consistently — it changes what you believe is possible for yourself.

What Schools Can Do Right Now to Support Mental Health

You don’t have to be a therapist to create a mentally healthy environment. You just have to be intentional. Here are 6 actions schools can start taking today:

1. Create Calm Zones: Designate a quiet space on campus where learners can go when they’re overwhelmed.

2. Train Staff in Trauma Awareness: Help teachers understand the signs of trauma and how to respond compassionately.

3. Run Morning Check-ins: Even a quick “How are you, really?” circle can set the tone for the day.

4. Model Healthy Emotional Expression: Adults who are calm, vulnerable, and respectful model this for learners.

5. Normalize Help-Seeking: Post mental health resources and encourage students to speak up.

6. Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection: Growth isn’t linear. Acknowledge small wins and resilience.

The Power of Safeguarding Leads

We can’t talk about school mental health without lifting up the safeguarding leads — the backbone of learner wellbeing.

These are the people who hold disclosures of abuse, who notice the quiet child falling through the cracks, who chase down referrals, comfort the hurting, and keep students safe. They are often the first and last line of defense for a child in crisis.

Every school needs one. Every safeguarding lead needs support.

Looking Ahead: Why Whole-Person Work is the Future of Education

We are moving into a new era of education. One where learners are not seen as empty vessels to be filled, but as complex beings with stories, emotions, and limitless potential.

At SOHK, we are part of that shift. And so are the schools we partner with.

When we invest in the emotional health of our learners — when we prioritize mental wellbeing alongside academics — we aren’t just helping them cope. We are helping them lead.

We are shaping future community leaders, healers, innovators, and change-makers.

Not in spite of their pain — but because they were supported through it.

Closing Thoughts

Supporting the mental health of young people isn’t an afterthought. It’s not optional. It’s foundational. And it takes all of us — teachers, safeguarding leads, nonprofits, parents, and peers — to do this work well.

At SOHK, we believe every young person deserves to be seen. To be safe. To be supported.

Because when we care for the whole person, we unlock the whole potential.

Want to get involved?
Donate, volunteer, or bring SOHK to your school.
Visit www.schoolofhardknocks.co.za or follow us on Instagram @sohk_sa.

When we think of the pillars holding up a school, our minds often go straight to the teachers, the principal, or the curriculum. But hidden in the shadows of every school is a role that quietly, persistently, and often invisibly holds the emotional safety of learners in place — the Safeguarding Lead.

At the School of Hard Knocks (SOHK), where we work with underserved learners in no- and low-fee schools across South Africa, we’ve seen firsthand how transformational this role is. Our programs like NxtGenMen and NxtGenWomxn rely on the presence and commitment of safeguarding leads to deliver more than just programs — we deliver life-changing support systems.

So, what exactly does a safeguarding lead do, and why are they so essential to student wellbeing?

Let’s break it down — and then look at the top 8 reasons why they’re absolutely crucial in every school environment.

What is a Safeguarding Lead?

A Safeguarding Lead (also known as a Designated Safeguarding Officer or Child Protection Officer) is responsible for ensuring that a school’s policies, practices, and people are protecting children from harm, abuse, and neglect.

But this isn’t just about paperwork and compliance — it’s about being the eyes, ears, and heart of a school’s child protection system. It means:

• Monitoring students who are at risk

• Supporting teachers in spotting early warning signs

• Handling disclosures of abuse with sensitivity and skill

• Liaising with social services or child protection agencies

• Training staff in safeguarding awareness

• Ensuring policies align with acts like the Protection of Personal Information Act (POPIA) and the Promotion of Access to Information Act (PAIA)

At SOHK, our POPIA manual underscores the importance of data privacy, emotional safety, and due process when working with children. Safeguarding Leads uphold all of this — with empathy at the center.

Top 8 Reasons Safeguarding Leads Are Crucial to Learner Wellbeing

1. They Create an Emotional Safety Net

Emotional safety is a precondition for learning. If a child is anxious, afraid, or traumatized, they simply cannot absorb academic content.

Safeguarding Leads create an environment where learners feel seen, heard, and safe — which in turn improves concentration, engagement, and resilience. They build trust through presence, not just policy.

2. They Identify the “Invisible” Struggles

Many children won’t explicitly say “I need help.” Safeguarding Leads are trained to spot the silent signs of trauma, neglect, or abuse — a change in behavior, consistent tiredness, declining academic performance, emotional withdrawal, or aggressive outbursts.

By noticing these signs early, they can intervene before small issues become life-altering crises.

3. They Navigate Complex Family Dynamics

In underserved communities, challenges at home — including domestic violence, food insecurity, addiction, or lack of supervision — deeply affect learners.

Safeguarding Leads work at the intersection of school and home, offering referrals, resources, and support, and sometimes acting as the only stable adult figure in a child’s life.

4. They Champion the Child’s Rights

As outlined in PAIA and POPIA, every learner has the right to dignity, privacy, and access to support systems. Safeguarding Leads make sure learners aren’t lost in the bureaucracy.

They advocate for their needs — whether it’s securing a social worker, getting help with school supplies, or ensuring confidentiality is upheld during sensitive cases.

5. They Are the Bridge Between Staff and Mental Health Resources

Teachers are often the first to notice something is “off” — but they’re also overwhelmed. Safeguarding Leads bridge the gap between observation and action, ensuring follow-through and support.

They liaise with psychologists, lay-counselors (like those in our SoHK programmes), NGOs, and other services to ensure the right help gets to the right child.

6. They Set the Tone for a Culture of Care

Having a Safeguarding Lead isn’t just about responding to issues. It’s about creating a culture where learners know they’re safe to speak up — where consent, boundaries, mental health, and dignity are part of the everyday language.

This cultural shift ripples out. It reduces bullying. It empowers bystanders. It invites openness. It saves lives.

7. They Protect the Protectors

Burnout is real — especially in low-resourced schools. Safeguarding Leads don’t only support learners. They support teachers too, offering debriefing, guidance, and a shoulder to lean on when staff are overwhelmed or unsure how to handle a disclosure.

In this way, they prevent vicarious trauma and create stronger, more resilient teams.

8. They Uphold Compliance — Without Losing Compassion

POPIA, PAIA, and the Children’s Act aren’t just checklists. They’re laws designed to uphold the humanity of learners.

A skilled Safeguarding Lead ensures the school is in full legal compliance — while never losing sight of the emotional and ethical responsibility they hold. They understand that privacy, trust, and care must work hand-in-hand.

Safeguarding and School of Hard Knocks: A Partnership That Matters

At SOHK, our safeguarding philosophy isn’t an afterthought. It’s embedded into every program:

• In SoHK for Schools, our trained team works hand-in-hand with safeguarding leads to provide wraparound support to learners navigating difficult emotional terrain.

• In NxtGenMen, we tackle the roots of violence by creating safe spaces for boys to redefine masculinity — all under the protective umbrella of strong safeguarding practices.

• In NxtGenWomxn, we support girls in processing emotional dysregulation and developing healthy coping strategies — with safeguarding leads ensuring those sessions are safe and secure.

What Makes a Great Safeguarding Lead?

Great safeguarding leads are more than just trained — they are emotionally intelligent, consistent, and committed. They:

• Listen without judgment

• Hold confidentiality with care

• Take swift, appropriate action

• Understand the balance between empathy and boundaries

• Operate with a deep belief that every child is worth protecting

Final Word: Protecting Minds, Nurturing Futures

Safeguarding Leads are not just important — they are essential. Especially in schools where learners may have experienced chronic stress, abandonment, or violence, the presence of a single trustworthy adult can be the difference between giving up and trying again.

As we move forward in our mission to transform mental health and life skills education through SOHK programs, we hold deep respect for these unsung heroes of the education system. Without them, none of our work would be possible.

“In 2024, our team has done important, impactful work across our three programmes – interventions that use sport to help people improve their mental health, helping them to be better placed to address the trauma that they have faced. Our reach continued to grow, from 250 in 2022 to 3441 in 2024. A huge accomplishment and a real testament to the dedication of the School of Hard Knocks team.” Dr Jon Hunter-Parsonage (ex-CEO)

HIGHLIGHTS:

• Total direct reach of 3441, indirect 13764

• 100 advanced child safeguarding interventions

• NxtGenMen expanded to Gauteng

• Piloted the NxtGenWomxn for Mothers programme

• Tested and succeeded in scaling the NxtGenMen programme

Coach Justin at the School of Hard Knocks

Coach Justin

Pronoun: He/him

Hometown: Hanover Park

Favorite Sports: Soccer and rugby

Can you tell us about your background and what led you to become a coach at the School of Hard Knocks?

I grew up with helping people who love to facilitate, and I grew to love it from the first day working with SOHK.

How do you tailor your coaching methods to accommodate different learning styles and abilities?

I learn from different people and the audience, which changes my style and makes it easier for them to understand what I am trying to convey.

What are some of the biggest challenges you've faced as a coach, and how have you overcome them?

Being young and letting older people respect and listen to me, I grew in my confidence.

Can you share a success story or a memorable moment from coaching at the School of Hard Knocks?

I did a NextGenMen program, and I got alot of good things from the people I did the program with