The school holidays are winding down. And while some students are excited to reunite with friends and routines, many are feeling the familiar tension:

Early mornings. Homework. Pressure. Social stress. Performance anxiety.

For parents, caregivers, and educators, Term 3 can feel like the toughest stretch of the academic year. Energy is dipping, yet expectations keep rising. It’s a term that often demands stamina — not just from students, but from the adults around them too.

So how do we prepare for it?
Not just logistically — but mentally, emotionally, and energetically?

Here are 10 ways to help young people — and the grownups supporting them — enter Term 3 with a mindset rooted in calm, clarity, and care.

1. Reflect Before You Reset

Before diving into new goals, pause and reflect:

• What worked well in Term 2?

• What challenges stood out?

• What did your child/student need more (or less) of?

Reflection grounds us in reality — so we don’t repeat patterns or carry old stress into the new term.

Try it: Ask your child or class, “What was the hardest part of last term? What was the most fun?”

2. Ease Back Into Routine — Slowly

Don’t flip the switch from late nights to 6am wake-ups in one go. In the last week of holiday, begin adjusting:

• Bedtime and wake-up gradually

• Meal times

• Screen limits

This soft landing helps the body and brain adapt — and reduces the shock to the nervous system.

3. Create a Calm, Clear Prep Space

Whether at home or school, the physical environment impacts mental focus. Use the last few days of break to reset:

• Tidy up study areas or desks

• Restock stationery or notebooks

• Create a calendar with important Term 3 dates

When your surroundings are clear, your mind can be too.

4. Talk About Emotions — Not Just Schedules

Many learners are secretly anxious about returning to school. Instead of just listing what needs to be packed or bought, ask:

• “How are you feeling about the new term?”

• “What’s something you’re nervous about?”

• “Is there anything we can do differently this time?”

Listening without trying to fix builds emotional safety and trust.

5. Set Realistic, Personal Goals

Help your child or class choose one or two small, meaningful goals for Term 3.

Examples:

• “I want to raise my maths mark by 5%.”

• “I want to ask more questions in class.”

• “I want to go one week without missing homework.”

Keep the focus on progress, not perfection.

6. Prioritise Movement and Play

As pressure builds in Term 3, so do mental health risks: burnout, anxiety, and withdrawal.

Schedule time for:

• After-school movement (walks, sports, dance)

• Unstructured play (especially for younger learners)

• Family or class games that spark laughter and connection

A balanced nervous system leads to better behaviour and learning.

7. Practice Saying “No” to Overload

If your child or your classroom is already full, avoid piling on every opportunity. Ask:

• “Does this bring value — or just more stress?”

• “Are we doing this to impress others, or because it supports our goals?”

Protecting rest time, creativity, and joy is a form of preparation.

8. Build In Emotional Checkpoints

Once Term 3 begins, don’t wait until meltdown mode to talk about stress.

Use regular check-ins:

• Home: 10-minute evening conversations about the day

• School: Weekly class circles or journaling sessions

• Personal: Encourage learners to track their mood with a colour system or short sentence

Checking in often helps catch emotional strain early.

9. Make Gratitude a Daily Habit

Gratitude isn’t just “positive thinking.” It’s a proven tool to rewire the brain away from survival mode.

Create simple rituals:

• “What’s one thing that went right today?”

• “What made you feel proud this week?”

• “What’s something small that felt good?”

This builds mental resilience for tough days.

10. Remind Everyone: Progress Looks Different for Everyone

Some students will come back ready to thrive. Others may return carrying anxiety, grief, or fear — often invisible.

Support looks like:

• Patience with learners who struggle to engage at first

• Celebrating non-academic wins (emotional growth, effort, kindness)

• Keeping expectations high but human

Every learner’s journey through Term 3 will be unique — and that’s okay.

Final Thoughts: Preparation is an Act of Care

Preparing for Term 3 isn’t just about books and uniforms. It’s about:

• Helping learners feel emotionally safe

• Giving them tools to manage pressure

• Creating routines that support focus and joy

• Offering steady support when things get hard

At School of Hard Knocks, we’ve seen time and time again:
When a young person feels seen, supported, and understood — they rise.

Let this term be one of compassion-led learning, for everyone involved.

Want to support a student’s mental wellbeing this term?

• Donate to sponsor a coaching or lay counselling session

• Partner with SOHK to bring mental health programmes to your school

• Volunteer your time, presence, or skills

www.schoolofhardknocks.co.za
info@schoolofhardknocks.co.za

The statistics are sobering:

• Every 3 hours, a woman is murdered.

• Over 50,000 sexual offences are reported annually — and countless more go unreported.

• Gender-Based Violence (GBV) affects women, children, and LGBTQ+ individuals across every province, every class, every age.

We see the headlines. We mourn the losses. We hold vigils, change profile pictures, and demand justice.

But still, it continues.

At School of Hard Knocks (SOHK), we believe that prevention must go deeper than policy and punishment. It must start with healing the emotional wounds that fuel the cycle of violence.

This blog explores the deep connection between unaddressed mental health struggles and the epidemic of GBV in South Africa — and how investing in emotional literacy, safe spaces, and early intervention is one of the most urgent steps we can take to shift this national crisis.

GBV is Not Just a “Women’s Issue.” It’s a Mental Health Issue.

Most conversations about GBV focus on what women can do to stay safe:

• Don’t walk alone.

• Dress modestly.

• Avoid certain areas.

But the real question is this: What’s going on in the hearts and minds of those who commit violence?

Many perpetrators of GBV are carrying:

• Deep emotional trauma from childhood

• Unprocessed grief, anger, or shame

• Cultural conditioning around power and dominance

• Mental health struggles that go untreated or misdirected

This does not excuse the violence.
But if we don’t understand the root causes, we will keep treating symptoms — and missing opportunities for real prevention.

The Link Between Suppressed Emotion and Explosive Violence

In South African society, boys are often raised in emotionally barren environments. They are told:

• "Man up."

• "Stop crying."

• "Don’t be weak."

• "Control her or be controlled."

By the time they are teens, many have already learned to:

• Shut down vulnerability

• Express pain through aggression

• Confuse control with love

• View emotional need as failure

When these internal struggles are never spoken about, they fester.
When there’s no outlet, no language, no intervention — the pressure builds.

And in many cases, it explodes into acts of control, domination, and violence.

How Unhealed Trauma Fuels the Cycle

Both victims and perpetrators of GBV often carry trauma.

For those who commit acts of violence, research shows strong links to:

• Early exposure to domestic violence

• Lack of positive male role models

• Mental health issues like depression or unresolved anger

• Poor emotional regulation skills

• Beliefs rooted in patriarchal entitlement

When a child grows up in survival mode, without emotional support or structure, their nervous system becomes wired for fear, dominance, or disconnection.

If that pain is never acknowledged or treated, it eventually spills into relationships, families, and communities.

The Invisible Wounds of GBV Survivors

For survivors, GBV is not just a physical violation — it is a psychological wound that can linger for years, affecting:

• Trust and intimacy

• Self-worth and identity

• Concentration and academic performance

• Emotional regulation

• Long-term mental health (anxiety, PTSD, depression)

Many survivors of GBV go unheard and untreated, especially in underserved communities.
They are expected to move on, speak softly, or forgive quickly.

At SOHK, we refuse to let these wounds remain invisible.

Our Approach at SOHK: Healing from the Inside Out

We believe prevention begins in safe spaces where emotions can be processed, not punished.

Our work with students in high-risk schools integrates:

• Mental health literacy

• Safe group dialogue

• Sports-based emotional regulation

• Gender identity and masculinity conversations

• Lay counselling and trusted adult support

Our NxtGenMen programme helps boys unpack what it means to be a man — and offers new scripts that don’t involve violence, dominance, or suppression.

Our NxtGenWomxn programme gives girls tools to understand boundaries, emotional triggers, and how to seek help when feeling unsafe.

This is prevention. Not only of violence — but of emotional collapse.

What We See in Schools Every Week

A Grade 9 boy breaks down crying after being told he doesn’t have to be the “man of the house” at 15.

A girl who used to self-harm starts drawing again — because for the first time, someone asked her what she needed instead of punishing her.

A coach stops a fight by asking the group to take three deep breaths — and they do.

These aren’t miracles. They’re the result of consistent emotional support and safe adult presence.

That’s how change starts: in small, repeated moments of healing.

How the Mental Health Gap Blocks Progress on GBV

The truth is, South Africa cannot end GBV without investing in mental health.

Why?

Because:

• You can’t change behaviour without emotional awareness.

• You can’t expect accountability without self-regulation.

• You can’t teach respect without giving young people the tools to respect themselves first.

When mental health is ignored:

• Boys are left to fend for themselves emotionally, turning to violence or numbing as coping.

• Girls are left without support to recover, rebuild confidence, or speak out.

• Families remain stuck in cycles of silence, denial, and blame.

This is why the mental health crisis and the GBV crisis must be tackled together.

What We Need to Do Differently as a Society

1. Teach emotional literacy in every school
   Every child should learn to name emotions, ask for support, and handle conflict without violence.

2. Create more safe spaces for boys
   Not just detention or discipline. Actual spaces for boys to explore identity, vulnerability, and healing.

3. Support survivors with more than pamphlets
   Survivors need consistent mental health care, not just hotline numbers.

4. Involve men in prevention
   This is not just a women’s fight. Men must be educated, supported, and held accountable with compassion and structure.

5. Fund community-led mental health initiatives
   Grassroots organisations like SOHK are already doing the work — they just need more backing.

Final Thoughts: Healing is Not Soft. It’s Revolutionary.

We’re often told that mental health work is secondary — a luxury.
But we know the truth.

Healing is not a luxury. It is the foundation of any just society.
Because violence does not begin with a fist. It begins with pain that has nowhere else to go.

At School of Hard Knocks, we are holding that pain — and transforming it into power, self-awareness, and new pathways.

We are raising a generation that learns:

• How to express without harming.

• How to lead without dominating.

• How to listen to their own hearts — and others.

This is how we end GBV.
Not just by reacting to tragedy, but by building emotionally resilient communities before the violence starts.

Join Us.

Support our programmes.
Sponsor a mental health workshop.
Partner with us to bring NxtGenMen and NxtGenWomxn to your school.
Be part of the solution.

Because when we care for the hearts and minds of our youth, we are shaping a future where violence is no longer the language of pain.

www.schoolofhardknocks.co.za
info@schoolofhardknocks.co.za

In a country overwhelmed by crisis, poverty, violence, and mental health challenges, it’s easy to feel powerless.
“What can I possibly do that would really make a difference?”

Here’s the answer:
Show up.
With your time.
With your energy.
With your presence.

At School of Hard Knocks (SOHK), we’ve learned something profound:
You don’t have to be rich to be generous.
You don’t need to have a title to lead.
You don’t need a platform to change a life.

You just need to care — and be willing to act on that care.

This blog is a call-in. A celebration. A reminder that in 2025, the greatest gift you can give to South Africa’s youth may not be your money — but your commitment.

Let’s talk about why your time, energy, and support are our most powerful fuel — and how you’re helping rewrite futures, one learner, one coach, and one courageous act at a time.

The Heart of SOHK: Human Connection Before Anything Else

School of Hard Knocks was never just about rugby or workshops.
It was — and is — about relationship.

We exist to provide:

• Consistent adult presence

• Mental health and behavioural support

• Emotional safety

• Purpose and belonging

…to children and adolescents who have been left behind by a system that doesn’t always see them.

Our year-long programmes in no- and low-fee schools don’t just keep students busy — they help them heal, grow, and believe in themselves again.

None of that happens without the people behind the work.

Why Donating Time = Saving Lives

In communities where trauma, violence, and instability are the norm, your time can be a lifeline.

When you show up to mentor, coach, facilitate, or even simply listen, you send an unspoken message:

“You matter.”
“I care enough to be here.”
“You don’t have to go through this alone.”

Every week, SOHK volunteers and staff spend hundreds of hours:

• Holding emotional space for students in group sessions

• Coaching on the rugby field with compassion and consistency

• Facilitating NxtGenMen and NxtGenWomxn groups

• Offering lay-counselling and mental health support

• Delivering food parcels, checking in on home life, and providing practical help

These aren’t abstract gestures. They’re acts of resistance — against apathy, neglect, and generational harm.

What Support Looks Like in 2025

In just the first half of 2025, your support helped us:

• Work with 1,200+ students across schools in Cape Town, Gauteng, and the Eastern Cape

• Deliver over 6,000 hours of mental health and character-building workshops

• Facilitate 120+ NxtGenMen and NxtGenWomxn sessions, tackling gender-based violence, emotional literacy, and healthy identity

• Provide weekly coaching and mentorship to over 300 boys and girls

• Train new youth leaders and peer coaches from within the communities we serve

• Expand our safeguarding and wellbeing infrastructure for even greater impact

This is not charity.
It’s community building — and every volunteer, donor, partner, and advocate is part of this growing wave.

Donating Money vs. Donating Yourself — Both Are Needed

Let’s be real: running programmes takes funding. We are deeply grateful to our financial supporters, grantors, and partners.

But often, the most powerful donation isn’t financial — it’s relational.

A student won’t remember the exact Rand value of your contribution.
They will remember:

• The day you sat and listened

• The feedback you gave during a rugby drill

• The way you encouraged them to speak their truth during a group session

• The high-five that made them feel like a winner, even after a loss

This is what we mean when we say you don’t have to do everything — but you can do something.

Ways to Donate Your Time or Energy in 2025

Whether you’ve got a free afternoon or a lifelong passion, there’s a way for you to contribute to SOHK’s mission:

✅ Volunteer with Us

• Mentors for boys and girls in schools

• Workshop co-facilitators for emotional literacy, career prep, and gender dialogue

• Support coaches for rugby or sports-based sessions

• Event volunteers for community days or fundraiser events

✅ Share Your Skills

• Are you a social worker, psychologist, teacher, artist, or youth worker?

• We welcome guest facilitators and partners who want to co-create content or offer healing workshops.

✅ Be a Community Connector

• Introduce us to schools, organizations, or funders who could benefit from collaboration

• Spread our mission on social media

• Host a SOHK info night or fundraiser in your community

✅ Advocate

• Talk to your workplace about funding or volunteering as a team

• Recommend our NxtGen programmes to schools, churches, or youth groups

• Add your voice to the national conversation on youth mental health and gender equity

What You Get in Return (Besides Warm Fuzzies)

Donating your time and energy doesn’t just change others — it changes you.

You’ll find:

• A renewed sense of purpose

• A community of likeminded change-makers

• A deeper understanding of resilience, youth voice, and real transformation

• The joy of watching young people grow — not because you “saved” them, but because you showed up as someone who believes in their brilliance

You may walk in to volunteer thinking you’re the one giving.
But you’ll leave realizing you’ve received something even greater.

Our Vision for the Rest of 2025 — And How You Can Be Part of It

We’re just getting started.

With your continued support, we aim to:

• Launch 5 new SOHK school partnerships

• Train 50 new youth peer mentors

• Expand NxtGenMen and NxtGenWomxn across 3 more provinces

• Integrate trauma-informed training for all coaches and volunteers

• Develop after-school wellbeing hubs for at-risk youth

You don’t need to do it all.
But we need all of us to do something.

Final Thought: We Rise Together

It’s easy to feel helpless in the face of big issues: poverty, trauma, inequality, violence.
But there’s something more powerful than helplessness: collective action.

When you donate your time to a cause like School of Hard Knocks, you are doing more than helping.
You are building the South Africa you want to see.

One where:

• Every child feels seen

• Every boy learns he’s allowed to cry

• Every girl knows her voice matters

• Every school becomes a hub for healing, hope, and potential

That is our 2025 vision. And we want you in it.

Join the Movement. Lend Your Strength.

Want to volunteer, partner, or contribute your skills to SOHK?
Reach out to us — we’re ready to welcome you.

📍 www.schoolofhardknocks.co.za
📩 info@schoolofhardknocks.co.za

Together, we are the knock that opens the door.

At School of Hard Knocks, we work with learners facing an extraordinary mix of challenges — poverty, violence, anxiety, academic pressure, and often, unstable home environments. In the midst of all that chaos, it’s easy to overlook one of the most powerful tools we can offer:

Routine.

Not the boring, rigid kind of routine — but the kind that says:

“You’re safe here.”
“There’s a rhythm to life you can trust.”
“You don’t have to be in survival mode every day.”

This blog explores why structure is a mental health anchor for young people, especially in communities facing adversity — and how we can build it into our homes, classrooms, and support programmes.

Structure = Safety

For a young person who lives in unpredictability — whether that’s a parent who disappears for days, a new trauma, or food scarcity — everything feels out of control.

When the world feels unsafe, the nervous system stays on high alert. This can show up as:

• Anger or aggression

• Zoning out or chronic tiredness

• Struggles with concentration

• Anxiety or panic attacks

• Hopelessness

Routine creates a predictable rhythm that tells the body and mind:
“You are safe. You can relax. You know what’s coming next.”

The Brain Loves Patterns

Our brains are built for patterns and predictability. Routine reduces decision fatigue, lowers anxiety, and increases confidence. When a child knows:

• “I eat breakfast at 7.”

• “We start school with circle check-ins.”

• “My SOHK coach comes every Tuesday.”

• “I have 15 minutes to journal after dinner.”

…they begin to relax into the flow of their day. That calm turns into focus. That focus turns into learning.

And that learning? It turns into growth.

What Routine Teaches (That Lectures Can’t)

You can tell a young person to be responsible, or you can show them through structure.

Here’s what routine teaches — even without saying a word:

Skill How Routine Supports It Emotional regulation Predictability reduces stress and helps regulate mood Time management Set times for tasks build planning and pacing skills Responsibility Following a routine builds independence and ownership Boundaries Routines create clear transitions and limits without punishment Self-trust Completing small daily routines boosts confidence and agency

What It Looks Like in SOHK Programmes

In our schools, we embed structure into every layer of our interventions — not just to keep order, but to support healing.

• Life Skills Sessions happen weekly at the same time.

• Check-in Circles start and end the same way: with presence, breath, and sharing.

• Rugby Drills follow a predictable flow: warm-up, teamwork, coaching, reflection.

• NxtGenMen and NxtGenWomxn groups open with grounding, explore a theme, and close with intention-setting.

This kind of routine does more than create discipline — it builds emotional containment. It makes space for deep inner work, safely.

Real Story: A Learner Who Started to Show Up

One of our coaches remembers a Grade 8 boy who would often skip school, come late, or get kicked out of class. When SOHK sessions began, he’d sit in the back, hoodie up, arms crossed.

But week after week, the same coach arrived. The same warm-up. The same post-session debrief. The same space to speak without being punished for it.

Three months in, he arrived early. On time. Looking for his coach.

Why?

Because for the first time, someone showed up for him consistently — and now, he was learning to show up for himself.

How Parents and Caregivers Can Use Routine to Support Mental Health

You don’t need a perfect schedule to create safety at home. Start small. Here are simple, real-world ideas that create rhythm and reliability:

✅ Daily Check-In Time

Ask the same three questions at dinner or bedtime:

• What was good today?

• What was hard?

• What do you need tomorrow?

✅ Set Wake-Up and Bedtime Routines

Even if things are chaotic, structure how the day starts and ends — with breath, music, tea, a story, or a short walk.

✅ Create Weekly Rituals

• Monday = Movie night

• Friday = Family check-in

• Sunday = Room reset or journaling session

✅ Use Visual Schedules

For younger learners or neurodivergent children, print or draw out the day’s activities. It reduces stress and surprises.

✅ Let Them Help Build the Routine

Ask: “What part of the day feels messy? How can we make it smoother?” Let them choose one habit to own.

What If It Doesn’t Work Right Away?

That’s okay.

Routine is about consistency, not perfection. Some days will fall apart. What matters is that the structure remains something to return to — like a lighthouse in a storm.

And if the child resists at first? That’s normal too. Sometimes, resistance is a test: Will you still show up? Will this still be here next week?

Stick with it. You’re building trust, not just a calendar.

Final Thought: Routine as a Love Language

Routine isn’t about control. It’s about care.

Every time you create structure — in a classroom, on a rugby field, at a dinner table — you’re saying:

“I care enough to be here.”
“I believe in your potential.”
“You are worthy of stability, even when the world is unstable.”

And that message? It’s one every young person deserves to hear — again and again.

Want to help us bring structure, safety, and support to more learners?
Donate to SOHK today or partner with us to expand mental health programming in your school.
www.schoolofhardknocks.co.za | info@schoolofhardknocks.co.za

The school term has come to an end. For students, it’s a sigh of relief — a break from early mornings, tests, and routines. For parents and caregivers? It can feel a little more complex.

Without school structure, many children begin to drift: staying up late, scrolling endlessly, isolating in their rooms, or becoming restless and emotional without quite knowing why. And for parents who are still working, the holidays can bring a new kind of pressure:

“How do I keep them busy, safe, and mentally well — without spending a fortune or losing my mind?”

At School of Hard Knocks (SOHK), we know that term breaks can be both a gift and a challenge. Young people need rest, but they also need connection, purpose, movement, and support — especially those navigating difficult home or emotional circumstances.

This blog is here to help. Below are 8 practical, low-cost ways to support your child’s mental health, energy levels, and emotional development during the holiday break — no expensive camps or screen marathons required.

1. Keep a Light Routine (But Stay Flexible)

Structure gives children a sense of safety. Without it, anxiety and frustration can creep in. That doesn’t mean creating a strict schedule — but having some form of rhythm helps.

Try this:

• Wake-up windows (e.g., between 8–9am)

• Shared breakfast or morning walk

• “Activity hours” between lunch and dinner

• Evening quiet time: puzzles, books, or chats

Even a loose schedule can help avoid the daily battles of “What are we doing today?” and “Why are you still on your phone?”

🧠 Mental Health Bonus: Predictable days help regulate sleep, mood, and emotional outbursts.

2. Prioritize Movement Every Day

A moving body is a moving mind.

When children stay indoors for too long, screen time increases, moods worsen, and energy gets bottled up. The result? Explosions — emotional and otherwise.

No fancy gym needed. Try:

• Impromptu dance parties

• Jump rope or ball games in a yard or driveway

• Free YouTube fitness videos

• Making cleaning the house into a movement game

🚶🏾‍♀️ Mental Health Bonus: Movement reduces stress, boosts mood, and improves focus — even during downtime.

3. Set Social Goals Together

Many children feel lonely during school holidays — especially if they don’t have easy access to friends or playmates. That loneliness can sometimes look like irritation, withdrawal, or acting out.

Help your child maintain healthy social connection, even if it's minimal.

Ask them:

• “Who do you miss hanging out with?”

• “Would you like to call or visit someone this week?”

• “Is there someone you'd like to invite over for lunch or a play date?”

No friends nearby? Introduce them to safe, structured youth programs (sports, church groups, or SOHK sessions) if available.

🤝 Mental Health Bonus: Belonging is a core need. Connection combats anxiety and strengthens emotional resilience.

4. Encourage Skill-Building and Creativity

Term break is the perfect time to learn something without pressure or marks attached. This could be the spark that ignites a future passion — or simply boosts confidence and curiosity.

Some ideas:

• Teach them how to cook one family recipe

• Learn a song, poem, or dance together

• Build a puzzle or paint a mural

• Try a new language using free mobile apps

• Assign them a challenge (e.g., “Build something using only cardboard”)

🎨 Mental Health Bonus: Skill-building supports self-esteem, focus, and problem-solving — all while having fun.

5. Talk About Emotions — Casually

Without the school rush, holidays offer a rare chance to slow down and connect emotionally. But many kids won’t open up if asked directly. Keep it low-pressure and casual.

Try these gentle prompts:

• “What are you most looking forward to this week?”

• “Has anything felt tricky lately?”

• “If you could change one thing about school, what would it be?”

These questions create emotional safety without feeling like an interrogation.

🗣️ Mental Health Bonus: Conversations reduce emotional build-up and remind kids they don’t have to deal with feelings alone.

6. Limit Passive Screen Time (Gently)

It’s tempting to let children disappear into screens all day. And let’s be real — sometimes it’s necessary. But unchecked screen time, especially on social media, can affect mood, sleep, and self-esteem.

Try this instead:

• Set screen “zones” (e.g., no phones at the dinner table)

• Make them “earn” screen time by doing something physical or creative first

• Watch a show together and talk about it after

📱 Mental Health Bonus: Reducing passive scrolling gives the brain time to rest, think, and reconnect with real-world experiences.

7. Involve Them in Something Bigger

A powerful antidote to boredom is purpose. Even small acts of contribution can make young people feel important and included.

Ideas:

• Ask them to help with grocery planning or budgeting

• Give them a task that matters: “Can you design a welcome sign for guests?”

• Volunteer together (food drives, park clean-up, etc.)

🌱 Mental Health Bonus: Feeling useful boosts self-worth and reduces feelings of helplessness.

8. Give Them Time to Just Be Kids

Let’s not forget the simplest, most powerful holiday activity: unstructured play.

Whether it’s climbing trees, drawing on the pavement, riding bikes, or building forts, children need time to be imaginative, silly, and free from expectations.

We don’t need to over-schedule every moment.

🏕️ Mental Health Bonus: Unstructured play strengthens creativity, emotional processing, and self-soothing skills — all essential for long-term wellbeing.

For Parents and Caregivers: You Matter Too

Supporting your child’s mental health during the holidays begins with your own wellbeing. If you’re burned out, overwhelmed, or emotionally stretched, it’s okay to slow down too.

Here’s how to take care of yourself during term break:

• Share responsibilities if possible

• Take 10 minutes a day for something just for you

• Let go of perfection — good enough is good enough

• Reach out for support if needed

🌸 Your presence matters more than perfect plans.

Final Thought: School May Pause — But Support Doesn’t Have To

The holidays don’t have to feel like survival mode.

With a little rhythm, creativity, movement, and connection, these weeks can become a time of deep bonding, emotional growth, and lasting memories.

At School of Hard Knocks, we believe in supporting young people year-round. Whether it’s through structured sessions, sports, group work, or simple conversations — we know that mental health doesn’t take a holiday.

And neither does love.

Want to get involved?

• Sponsor a holiday skills workshop for SOHK learners

• Donate to help us run mental health and mentorship programmes

• Share this article with a fellow parent or educator who needs a reminder that they’re doing enough.

🔗 www.schoolofhardknocks.co.za
📬 info@schoolofhardknocks.co.za

There’s a silent crisis in South Africa.

You won’t always see it in the headlines.
You might not hear it from the men living it.
But you feel it in the rage.
In the withdrawal.
In the violence.
In the grief.

The crisis is this: Men are disconnected.

Disconnected from each other.
Disconnected from their feelings.
Disconnected from safe places to be vulnerable, express pain, or even just be human.

At School of Hard Knocks (SOHK), we see it every day. Young boys growing up believing that strength = silence, that pain = weakness, and that the only way to earn respect is through aggression or emotional shutdown.

But we’ve also seen something else — something radical and real:

When men come together in camaraderie, everything starts to change.

This blog explores why building brotherhood — real, honest, emotionally safe male connection — is a critical solution to South Africa’s gender-based violence, mental health crisis, and fractured sense of masculinity.

The False Mask of Masculinity

From an early age, boys in South Africa — and around the world — are handed a silent script:

• Don’t cry.

• Don’t talk about it.

• Don’t be soft.

• Don’t be “like a girl.”

• Don’t be weak.

Whether it comes from older brothers, fathers, coaches, media, or culture — the message is clear:
To be a man is to be untouchable. Unshakable. In control.

So what happens when a boy is hurt? Afraid? Rejected?
Where does he put those feelings?

Often, he buries them — until they come out sideways, through:

• Fistfights

• Insults

• Sexual conquest

• Drugs, alcohol, or self-harm

• Gender-based violence

• Silence so thick it turns to stone

Isolation Is a Killer

Men in South Africa are disproportionately impacted by:

• Suicide

• Substance abuse

• Violent crime (as both perpetrators and victims)

• Incarceration

• Depression that goes undiagnosed or ignored

And at the root of many of these issues? Loneliness.

Not just physical isolation, but emotional isolation — a lack of spaces to be seen without being judged, to be heard without having to perform.

That’s why camaraderie isn’t just a feel-good word.

It’s survival.

What Is Camaraderie, Really?

Camaraderie is more than friendship. It’s belonging with depth.
It’s shared experience, trust, support, and emotional presence — without needing to explain yourself or mask your truth.

It sounds like:

• “I’ve been through that too.”

• “You’re not alone.”

• “I’ve got your back, even when you mess up.”

• “You don’t have to be tough here.”

It looks like:

• Men checking in on each other — for real.

• A circle where it’s okay to cry.

• A rugby team that values character more than ego.

• A mentor saying, “Let’s talk,” before, “Let’s fix.”

And it creates something rare and sacred in male spaces: emotional safety.

What Happens When Men Feel Safe Together?

In our NxtGenMen programme — a 6-session intervention designed to reduce violence and promote healthy masculinity — we’ve seen firsthand what happens when boys are finally given permission to just be real:

• Fights on the field decrease.

• Empathy increases.

• Vulnerability emerges.

• Peer pressure weakens.

• Healing begins.

Here’s what one Grade 11 participant said after just two sessions:

“This is the first time I’ve seen the guys like this. Like, we’re actually listening. No jokes. It’s different — I didn’t know I needed it.”

We see it in the body language. The shift from bravado to breath. From swagger to stillness. From chaos to connection.

Brotherhood as Violence Prevention

There’s a dangerous myth in society that says men are violent by nature.

But the truth is more nuanced: men are often violent when they have no other outlet for grief, shame, insecurity, or helplessness.

Camaraderie offers an alternative.

When men belong to something real, they don’t need to dominate to feel powerful.
When men feel respected and seen, they don’t need to take it from others.
When men know they’re not alone, they’re less likely to act out in desperation or defensiveness.

This is how camaraderie becomes prevention.

Not by teaching rules, but by changing the emotional culture of what it means to be a man.

The Role of Sport in Building Brotherhood

One of SOHK’s most effective tools for building camaraderie is our sports-based intervention model — particularly rugby.

Why rugby?

• It requires teamwork, not just talent.

• It forces trust — your body is on the line.

• It offers structure and discipline.

• It provides an embodied release for emotion.

• It becomes a metaphor for life — struggle, support, strategy, resilience.

But it’s not just the sport. It’s what happens before and after the game: the check-ins, the conflict resolution, the talking circles, the support from coaches who model healthy manhood.

That’s where the brotherhood grows.

Real Story: A Team That Became a Tribe

One of our facilitators tells the story of a team that began the term with constant fighting. Shouting matches. Slurs. Shoving. Ego over everything.

But by week four, after tough conversations, conflict debriefs, and honest storytelling, something shifted. They began to apologize without being told. To cheer each other on. To stop fights before they started.

One boy who used to throw punches said:

“I didn’t know you could feel this close to people without having to act like a gangster.”

That’s the heart of it.

Camaraderie teaches that you don’t need violence to earn connection. You don’t need to perform masculinity — you can live it, gently.

How Adults Can Help Build Camaraderie for Boys and Men

Whether you’re a parent, coach, teacher, mentor, or friend — you can be part of the solution.

Here’s how:

🤝 Create Safe Male Spaces

Not every group of guys needs to be joking or competing. Create environments where checking in emotionally is normal.

📣 Challenge “Man Up” Culture

Interrupt toxic language. Say things like, “Real strength is sharing how you feel” or “It’s okay to be scared.”

🧠 Model Vulnerability

Boys watch how adult men behave. Talk about your own emotions, therapy, friendship, failure. Normalize softness.

🔄 Prioritize Peer Connection Over Solo Success

Help young men value teamwork, collaboration, and mutual support — not individual dominance.

🗣️ Make Space for Expression

Whether it’s through journaling, music, art, or group dialogue — help men speak their stories instead of suppressing them.

Final Thought: Brotherhood Can Break the Cycle

In a society plagued by cycles of violence, shame, and emotional suppression, camaraderie is revolutionary.

It says to men:
You matter.
You are loved.
You are not a machine.
You are not broken.
You are not alone.

At School of Hard Knocks, this is not a side mission — it’s central. Because when boys and men heal together, entire communities change.

This isn’t just about mental health.
It’s about freedom.
It’s about belonging.
It’s about rewriting the story of masculinity, one circle, one team, one brotherhood at a time.

Support our mission. Donate or partner with NxtGenMen to bring brotherhood and healing to schools across South Africa.
www.schoolofhardknocks.co.za | info@schoolofhardknocks.co.za