At the School of Hard Knocks, we believe in transparency, accountability, and community impact. Every donation we receive is more than a transaction. It is a commitment to the futures of young people facing real adversity.

Your generosity allows us to do much more than run a sports programme. It allows us to offer consistent mental health support, mentorship, and real-world life skills to students who need it most. And because many of our participants come from underserved communities, your donations ensure that no child is ever turned away due to cost.

Let us walk you through exactly how we use your donations to change lives.

1. Direct Mental Health Support and Education

Your donation helps us pay for trained mental health professionals to guide students through emotional regulation, trauma processing, and confidence-building exercises. We bring psychosocial education straight into the schools and fields where our programmes run.

Many of our students are navigating grief, domestic violence, neglect, and intense social pressure. Some are caring for younger siblings, others are facing housing instability. Your donation helps us create safe spaces for them to open up, feel heard, and build the skills to thrive.

Your donation covers:

• Weekly group therapy-style check-ins

• Emotional wellness workshops

• Journaling, mindfulness, and resilience exercises

• Individual referrals for higher-risk cases

2. Coach and Facilitator Training

Every SOHK coach is trained not only in sport, but in trauma-informed care, emotional intelligence, and safeguarding. We invest in our team so they can invest in the students.

Your donations help fund:

• Ongoing training in mental health awareness and adolescent psychology

• Certification for safeguarding and youth protection

• Resources for coaches to run workshops, debrief sessions, and classroom-style lessons alongside rugby

SOHK coaches are more than mentors. They are role models. They become trusted adults for youth who may not have anyone else to talk to.

3. Programme Expansion and Weekly Delivery

The backbone of SOHK is consistency. That means delivering weekly programming, building long-term relationships, and creating measurable growth.

We use donations to fund:

• Staff salaries for our small, dedicated team of programme leads and coordinators

• Curriculum materials and printed resources for schools and students

• Weekly planning and delivery for sport and life skills sessions

• Monitoring and evaluation tools to measure student progress

Each week, we work in classrooms, on fields, and in small groups to build confidence, connection, and emotional safety.

4. Special Projects and Holiday Support

We know that the school calendar does not always line up with a student’s emotional needs. That is why we also offer:

• Crisis support for families in immediate need

• Special campaigns like Next Gen Men for empowering young boys with emotional literacy

• Events that bring families, schools, and communities together to celebrate the progress of our students

These projects are only possible because of donations from people like you.

5. Awareness Campaigns and Advocacy

Your donation also helps us go beyond programme delivery. It supports our work in changing the public narrative around mental health in schools.

With your support, we are able to:

• Create content that educates communities about youth mental health

• Share the stories of our students to raise awareness and reduce stigma

• Host community dialogues around topics like gender-based violence, loneliness, or emotional resilience

• Advocate for systemic change at a school and policy level

When we speak, we speak for youth who have been told to stay silent. Your donation helps us amplify their voices.

A Real Story: What Your Donation Made Possible

Meet Thando, a 15-year-old student in Khayelitsha. When he joined SOHK, he had just moved in with extended family he barely knew. He was failing at school, feeling invisible at home, and spending hours on TikTok to escape the loneliness.

Through SOHK, Thando found a place to open up. He discovered he was not alone. He learned to name his feelings and developed the confidence to talk about his mental health. He also found a love for rugby and a sense of identity on the field. His hero is Cheslin Kolbe, and now he dreams of becoming a Springbok too.

This transformation did not come from one workshop. It came from ongoing support, committed coaches, and a community that believed in him.

That is what your donation funds.

How to Give

There are many ways to support SOHK:

• Monthly Donations: Help us plan long-term and expand to new schools

• Once-Off Donations: Cover the cost of a jersey, a meal, or a therapy session

• Corporate Partnerships: Fund entire programmes for schools or communities

• In-Kind Support: Offer resources, services, or space

However you choose to give, know that it matters.

Every Rand Counts

We are proud of how we use your donations. We are lean, impact-focused, and deeply committed to the young people we serve. We believe that transformation comes from consistency, community, and care. That is what we offer.

You are not just donating money. You are helping a child feel seen. You are helping a teen process their trauma. You are building a better South Africa, one student at a time.

If you want to see the change, be the change. Donate today.

In today's digital world, the influence of social media is powerful, immediate, and deeply personal. For young people growing up in South Africa and across the globe, platforms like TikTok, Instagram, Snapchat, and Facebook are more than just apps. They are social lifelines, entertainment channels, status symbols, identity shapers, and emotional escape routes. For many, they are the first and last thing they look at each day.

But as much as social media has the power to connect, inspire, and educate, it also has a darker side. For parents, caregivers, and educators, this presents an increasingly difficult challenge. How do we empower our children to use technology wisely while also protecting their mental health? How do we talk about the risks without shutting down their world?

At the School of Hard Knocks, we believe that mental health education must keep pace with the digital age. That includes talking openly about screen time, digital boundaries, and the emotional toll of being constantly online. It includes empowering parents with tools, understanding, and strategies to monitor usage—not from a place of punishment, but from a place of protection and care.

Let us explore what social media really does to our young people, and what we can do to guide them.

The Double-Edged Sword of Social Media

Social media is not inherently bad. In fact, for many teens, it can be a source of connection, creativity, and community. It allows them to stay in touch with friends, explore their interests, express themselves, and learn about the world. For some, it is even a way to find inspiration and role models who reflect their struggles and dreams.

But the other side is often more subtle, more harmful, and more pervasive. Social media can distort self-image, trigger anxiety, and feed addictive patterns. Algorithms are designed to keep users hooked. Content is curated to be viral, often at the expense of truth or safety. And the pressure to be constantly available, likable, and relevant can wear down even the most confident young person.

We are seeing the impact in our communities. Students who once loved sport are now too tired from scrolling late at night. Learners who used to enjoy writing or drawing feel uninspired because they are comparing their work to influencers. Young girls worry about their weight because of filtered images. Young boys chase clout online while bottling up their real emotions offline. Some students check their phones over 100 times a day, without even realizing it.

This is not a parenting failure. This is the environment our children are being raised in. But with the right support, we can change how they respond to it.

Understanding the Real Impact on Mental Health

Multiple studies have now confirmed the link between excessive social media use and poor mental health outcomes among youth. A 2023 report from the South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG) highlighted that over 60 percent of teens felt more anxious after being online for more than three hours a day. Another international study from the Journal of Adolescence found that young people who spent more than three hours daily on social media were twice as likely to report symptoms of depression or self-harm.

These numbers are not just statistics. They show up as withdrawn behaviour, poor sleep, difficulty concentrating, body image struggles, and low self-esteem. We see it when students stop participating in group activities. We hear it in the way they describe themselves. We feel it in the energy they bring—or do not bring—into the room.

And what makes it more complicated is that many youth do not want to talk about how social media affects them. They fear losing access to their platforms. They fear judgment. And often, they are not even aware that their anxiety or sadness is related to their screen use.

What Monitoring Really Means

Monitoring your child’s social media use is not about spying, shaming, or total control. It is about being involved, informed, and intentional. It is about building trust so your child knows they can talk to you about what they are experiencing online. It is about noticing changes in behaviour and knowing when to step in. And most importantly, it is about being a digital role model.

Here are some effective ways to monitor and support your child’s digital life:

1. Create an open-door policy for digital conversations

Let your child know they can talk to you about anything they see or feel online. Be curious, not reactive. Ask questions like, “What’s your favourite thing about TikTok right now?” or “How do you feel after scrolling through Instagram?”

2. Set realistic screen time boundaries

Co-create guidelines with your child. For example, no screens during meals or after a certain time at night. Encourage screen-free activities on weekends. Make it a family effort, not a punishment.

3. Teach critical thinking skills

Help your child understand that not everything online is real. Talk about filters, fake news, influencers, and algorithms. Encourage them to ask, “Why am I seeing this post?” or “How does this content make me feel?”

4. Use parental control tools with consent

There are tools that help track time spent online, flag harmful content, or limit access to certain apps. Use them as a learning tool, not a weapon. Let your child know what you are monitoring and why.

5. Check in emotionally, not just technically

Monitoring is not just about screen time. Ask how your child feels about their online world. Do they feel pressure to post? Are they being bullied? Are they comparing themselves to others?

6. Model balanced social media use

Children watch what we do. If we are constantly on our phones, they will be too. Practice what you preach. Show them that it is okay to take breaks, to be bored, or to unplug.

What SOHK Is Doing to Support Digital Awareness

At the School of Hard Knocks, we are not just addressing what happens on the rugby field or in the classroom. We are addressing what happens on the phone screen too.

We are integrating conversations around social media into our mental health sessions. We talk about comparison, body image, FOMO, and digital escape. We help students identify when scrolling is a sign of stress or sadness. We build emotional literacy so they can name their feelings instead of numbing them.

We are also working with parents and caregivers through workshops and community events. We know many parents did not grow up with smartphones. That is why we create spaces for honest conversation and practical support. We do not judge. We educate and empower.

A Call to Action for Parents and Guardians

You do not need to be a tech expert to protect your child’s mental health. You just need to be present. You need to be willing to talk, to listen, and to guide. You need to understand that social media is not going away, but that we can help our children use it wisely.

Start by asking questions. Sit down and scroll with them. Laugh at the videos they love. Ask about the influencers they follow. Then gently open the door to deeper conversations. What makes them feel proud online? What makes them feel insecure? What could they do instead of scrolling when they feel overwhelmed?

Your presence matters more than any app ever will.

We Cannot Take It Away, But We Can Talk About It

The digital world is here to stay. We cannot shield our children from every harmful post, but we can give them the tools to process what they see. We can create home environments where mental health is a normal part of conversation. We can build community programs like SOHK that offer structure, sport, support, and safety. We can show our children that they do not have to face the online world alone.

Together, we can raise a generation that is emotionally literate, digitally aware, and deeply connected to what matters most: real relationships, healthy habits, and a strong sense of self.

If this mission speaks to you, we invite you to support the School of Hard Knocks. Volunteer your time. Donate to our programs. Join us in our work to empower the next generation of resilient, reflective, and emotionally strong youth.

Because when we protect our children’s minds, we protect our future.

In a time when technology connects us more than ever, something unexpected has happened. People feel lonelier than they ever have before. From students in overcrowded classrooms to elders in silent homes, from overworked parents to youth who scroll endlessly on their phones hoping for a hit of validation, loneliness has become a silent epidemic. It is widespread, it is painful, and it is deeply misunderstood.

At the School of Hard Knocks, we see loneliness show up every day. We see it in the withdrawn boy who avoids eye contact. In the teenage girl who laughs but never shares her truth. In the quiet student who sits out every drill, afraid to fail. Loneliness is not just being alone. It is feeling unseen, unheard, and disconnected. And it is harming our mental health, especially among youth.

What Is the Loneliness Epidemic?

The loneliness epidemic refers to the growing number of people across all age groups who report feeling isolated, emotionally distant, or lacking meaningful relationships. This is not just a feeling of solitude. It is a chronic state of disconnection that can affect brain chemistry, physical health, emotional well-being, and life expectancy.

According to the World Health Organization, loneliness is now considered a serious public health issue. In fact, chronic loneliness can be as harmful to physical health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. It increases the risk of heart disease, stroke, depression, anxiety, and cognitive decline. But the deepest wound it causes is emotional. When people feel alone for too long, they begin to believe they do not matter.

The Hidden Faces of Loneliness in South Africa

In South Africa, loneliness intersects with social issues like poverty, gender-based violence, racism, and economic inequality. It is layered and complex. Many young people feel emotionally abandoned even when physically surrounded by others. Many are grieving losses that have never been named. They face home environments where emotional support is not available, school environments that are overcrowded and under-resourced, and social environments that reward appearance over authenticity.

This type of loneliness creates numbness. It leads to avoidance, shutdown, and silence. Young people stop expressing their needs. They stop trusting others. They stop believing anyone is really listening. And in that silence, mental health challenges begin to grow.

Why Youth Are Especially Vulnerable

Teenagers and young adults are especially vulnerable to loneliness. This is a period of identity formation, emotional expansion, and growing self-awareness. It is a time when friendships and social groups carry enormous weight. But many young people feel rejected by their peers or invisible in the crowd.

Add social media into the mix, and the problem becomes worse. Youth are constantly comparing themselves to others. They curate their lives online to look perfect, while hiding their pain. They chase likes instead of real connection. They often have thousands of digital connections but no one to call when they feel scared, sad, or overwhelmed.

For those who grow up in under-resourced communities, the risk of loneliness is even higher. They may carry trauma, household responsibilities, or grief that makes them feel worlds apart from others their age. Without a space to process these emotions, loneliness becomes the norm.

The Connection Between Loneliness and Mental Health

Loneliness is both a cause and a symptom of mental health issues. When people feel isolated, they are more likely to experience depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts. They are less likely to reach out for help. And because mental health stigma is still strong, especially among young men, many suffer in silence.

The danger is that chronic loneliness teaches the brain to expect rejection. It activates the same stress responses as physical danger. This means the lonely brain begins to interpret neutral or even kind social cues as threats. People become hypervigilant, defensive, or shut down. They stop trusting that anyone can understand or care. And this makes it even harder to form new relationships.

In other words, loneliness creates a feedback loop. The longer it goes on, the harder it is to break.

What Students Actually Need

The antidote to loneliness is not just being around people. It is meaningful connection. It is feeling safe to be fully yourself in the presence of others. Young people need relationships where they can share without judgment, express without fear, and grow without shame. They need safe spaces to speak about what is really going on inside their hearts. They need mentors who see beyond their behavior and into their story.

They also need structure, rhythm, and belonging. Loneliness shrinks time. It makes the days blur together. A program like SOHK gives students a reason to show up. It gives them routine. It gives them faces that light up when they walk into the room. That consistency becomes a rope they can hold onto when everything else feels uncertain.

How SOHK Responds to Loneliness

At SOHK, we meet students where they are. We do not ask them to have the words yet. We do not expect immediate trust. We simply offer space, structure, and presence. We offer sport as a doorway. We offer mental health literacy as a toolkit. We offer mentorship as a bridge.

Each week, our students participate in emotionally intelligent sessions where rugby is not the point, but the path. In team huddles, we open conversations about emotions. In drills, we teach focus, resilience, and support. In one-on-one moments, we listen without trying to fix. And over time, something shifts.

Students begin to share more. They start to see their teammates not just as players, but as people. They begin to carry each other. They start to believe that someone is truly in their corner.

We also help students understand the difference between numbing and healing. We talk openly about escapism, screen addiction, and the trap of appearing fine. We offer tools for emotional expression. We model vulnerability. And in doing so, we make it okay to need help.

What the Research Says

Recent studies have confirmed what we have seen on the ground. Loneliness and social isolation are directly linked to poor academic performance, higher school dropout rates, and increased risk of substance abuse. But schools that offer emotionally supportive programs see the opposite. Attendance improves. Students become more motivated. They develop empathy. They lead with confidence.

The University of Oxford’s Department of Psychiatry released a study in 2023 showing that early intervention programs focused on emotional literacy in schools can reduce long-term mental health problems by more than 30 percent. And a 2022 South African study on adolescent mental health emphasized that programs built on connection, cultural relevance, and peer-based learning had the most impact in reducing suicide ideation.

This is not a theory. It is proven. And we are seeing it work every week in our communities.

Building Belonging as Prevention

Prevention is more powerful than crisis response. When we give young people a sense of belonging early, we reduce the likelihood that they will end up in a place of deep despair later. But belonging does not happen by accident. It must be built.

Belonging happens when a young person walks into a room and feels welcomed, not judged. It happens when someone remembers their name, their story, their goals. It happens when they mess up and are still invited back. Belonging is built through consistency, care, and courageous listening.

At SOHK, we are building belonging one student at a time. Through sport, through coaching, through real human connection. We believe every student deserves to be part of something bigger than themselves. Something that gives them meaning. Something that makes them feel strong.

How You Can Help

The loneliness epidemic will not be solved by one organization. It will take all of us. Parents. Teachers. Coaches. Mentors. Friends. Donors. Community members. The first step is to see it. To recognize that someone can look fine and still feel desperately alone. The next step is to act.

Here is how you can help:

• Show up. If you work with youth, make time for check-ins. Ask open-ended questions. Listen more than you talk.

• Support programs like SOHK. Your donations and volunteer hours help us keep building safe spaces for students to connect.

• Educate yourself. Read about youth mental health. Learn the signs of loneliness. Talk to your community about emotional well-being.

• Model connection. Share your own feelings. Reach out to people in your life. Make it normal to talk about mental health.

• Advocate for school-based mental health programs. Push for emotional education in schools. Help normalize emotional expression as a strength.

Closing the Distance

Loneliness thrives in silence. But connection thrives in courage. Every time we choose to see someone, to speak honestly, to offer a hand, we close the distance between isolation and belonging. We begin to turn the tide on the loneliness epidemic.

At the School of Hard Knocks, we are not just building rugby teams. We are building families. We are building bridges. We are building the kind of community where every young person can finally say, “I am not alone anymore.”

You can be part of that mission.

Support our work. Share our message. Volunteer your time. Sponsor a program. Show up. Because connection does not require perfection. It requires presence.

Together, we can fight the loneliness epidemic with something stronger than isolation. We can fight it with love.

In any space where young people are learning, growing, or healing, safeguarding is not a luxury. It is a lifeline. Whether in classrooms, sports fields, youth centres, or community programs, safety must come first. That is where the Safeguard Lead steps in. This role is one of the most important positions in any organisation working with children and teens. Yet far too few people understand what it truly means, and why it matters now more than ever.

The Core Purpose of a Safeguard Lead

A Safeguard Lead is the individual within an organisation who holds the ultimate responsibility for protecting young people. They are trained to identify, respond to, and escalate concerns around abuse, neglect, exploitation, bullying, and any situation that could compromise a child's wellbeing.

They do more than manage risk. They create a culture of safety. They are the ones who make sure that behind every policy and protocol is a real plan to keep children safe in practice, not just in theory.

Responsibilities That Make the Role Essential

The role of a Safeguard Lead is multi-layered. First, they set up systems that prevent harm. This includes developing safeguarding policies, training staff, conducting safety audits, and making sure environments are secure. But equally important is their reactive role. If a child shares a concern, or a staff member notices red flags, the Safeguard Lead is the one to take action.

They keep detailed records, make reports when needed, and coordinate with relevant professionals including social workers, medical staff, or law enforcement. They must be able to act quickly, calmly, and ethically, always centering the best interests of the child.

What Makes Someone a Strong Safeguard Lead?

This role is not just for anyone. It requires a specific blend of skills and traits. A good Safeguard Lead is approachable, emotionally intelligent, discreet, and confident. They must know when to listen, when to intervene, and when to escalate. They must be trusted by the youth they serve, as well as by their team.

They also need ongoing training. The challenges our youth face today are evolving rapidly. Social media, digital harm, mental health crises, and gender-based violence are now core issues that safeguarding frameworks must include.

Why Safeguarding Matters in South Africa

In South Africa, the risks to our young people are significant. Many face poverty, violence, unstable home environments, or schools that are under-resourced. Without a culture of safety, trauma festers. Bullying becomes normalised. Mental health struggles go unnoticed. And those who need help the most suffer in silence.

Safeguarding is not a privilege for elite schools or private institutions. It is a right for every child in every setting. The Safeguard Lead helps ensure that this right is upheld. When youth feel safe, they speak up. They trust their environment. And most importantly, they thrive.

What We Are Doing at School of Hard Knocks

At SOHK, we take safeguarding seriously. Every member of our team is trained in the fundamentals of child protection. But we also go further. Our Safeguard Leads are appointed, supported, and consistently trained. They are visible. Youth know who they are. And they are present at every event or program we run.

We understand that safeguarding is more than physical safety. It includes emotional safety, dignity, and mental health. We work with trauma-informed care, ensuring our programs are spaces where young people can be themselves, speak openly, and heal.

We document, reflect, and adapt our policies regularly. We work closely with parents, community leaders, and partner organisations to ensure our safeguarding approach is collective, consistent, and compassionate.

How You Can Help

Creating safe environments for young people is not a one-person job. It takes a village. Whether you are a parent, educator, donor, or community leader, your role matters.

• Learn about safeguarding and advocate for Safeguard Leads in every youth program you support.

• Ask tough questions about how organisations are protecting their young people.

• Encourage open dialogue with youth about what safety feels like to them.

• Share resources, fund trainings, or simply spread the word about the importance of safeguarding.

At SOHK, we are building a model of what youth safety can look like. We invite you to be part of that model. When young people feel safe, they rise. When they are protected, they speak. When they are seen, they grow into the leaders they were always meant to be.

If you believe in this mission, we need your support. Every donation, every conversation, and every new advocate helps us expand our reach and impact. Together, we can make sure no child is left unprotected, unheard, or unseen.

Let us build a future where safety is not the exception. It is the norm.

Rugby is more than a game. For many of the students we serve at School of Hard Knocks (SOHK), it is the heartbeat of healing. It is the rhythm that carries them forward when everything else in their world feels stuck. It is not just about tackling or scoring. It is about belonging. It is about trust. It is about being part of something bigger than yourself.

In South Africa, where challenges related to poverty, violence, gender-based trauma, and social exclusion run deep, sport becomes a lifeline. Rugby, in particular, offers a unique vehicle for emotional and mental transformation. On the field, boys and girls who once stood alone find teammates. They find structure. They find a way to feel strong and seen. They learn that progress is not about perfection. It is about showing up, again and again, together.

At SOHK, we harness the sport of rugby to teach far more than physical skill. We use it as a tool to unlock resilience, emotional awareness, leadership, and connection. Rugby becomes the gateway to trust. Trust becomes the foundation of change.

Why Rugby? Why Now?

South Africa has a deep-rooted relationship with rugby. The Springboks are not just a team. They are a symbol of hope, national pride, and unity. From township streets to dusty rural fields, rugby speaks a language everyone understands: discipline, strategy, grit, and passion.

But for our students, rugby represents something else, too. Stability. Accountability. A reason to show up. And in a time when so many young people are overwhelmed with stress, pressure, violence, and uncertainty, that consistency becomes sacred.

Mental health support is sorely lacking in many communities. In low-resource schools, counselors are almost nonexistent. Trauma goes untreated. Anxiety and depression go unspoken. The cost of silence is enormous.

That is where sport comes in.

Rugby as a Mental Health Tool

The structure of rugby offers powerful parallels to mental wellbeing:

• Discipline helps with emotional regulation.

• Teamwork fosters a sense of belonging.

• Physical movement reduces stress and anxiety.

• Shared goals help cultivate motivation and self-worth.

• Leadership roles empower students who never felt seen.

We have found that students who participate in our rugby-based programming begin to show measurable improvements in:

• Confidence and self-esteem

• Ability to manage emotional triggers

• Willingness to open up about personal struggles

• Attendance and engagement in school

• Peer relationships and conflict resolution

When we begin each session, we do not only warm up the body. We warm up the mind. Sessions begin with check-ins. Students are asked how they feel emotionally, not just physically. They are taught language to name emotions. They are encouraged to be honest about what they are carrying. They are reminded that the field is a safe place to release, to reflect, and to rebuild.

The Power of Camaraderie

For many young people, the idea of trust feels foreign. Some of them have never had adults who showed up consistently. Others have been let down by peers or caregivers. The streets teach them to be tough. Vulnerability becomes a liability.

But rugby flips that on its head.

In rugby, you have to trust your teammates. You must pass the ball. You have to communicate. You have to look someone in the eye and believe they will catch it, and believe they will be there for you.

That is not just a sporting technique. It is emotional rewiring.

One of our students, Mbulelo, once said after a match, “I never believed anyone would cover my back. Now I know I don’t have to fight alone.”

That moment captures what so many young people need. To be reminded that they are not alone. That they matter. That others will stand with them.

What the Science Says

According to the South African Depression and Anxiety Group, one in four teens is struggling with mental health challenges. Many are undiagnosed and unsupported. Suicide remains one of the leading causes of death among South African youth.

The World Health Organization recognizes that physical activity, especially team-based sport, is one of the most effective ways to combat youth depression, improve school engagement, and reduce risky behavior.

A study from the University of Pretoria found that adolescents who engaged in weekly team sports were significantly more likely to report feelings of belonging, purpose, and emotional wellbeing compared to their peers who were inactive.

This is not just feel-good messaging. It is evidence-based.

Rugby is not a luxury. It is a lifeline.

Stories From the Field

Siphesihle’s Story

Siphesihle was 13 when he joined SOHK. He had just moved from the Eastern Cape to live with extended family in Khayelitsha. He was struggling at school and had become completely withdrawn. He rarely spoke and often missed class. At home, he spent hours alone, scrolling through TikTok, trying to escape his reality.

When he first came to SOHK’s rugby sessions, he stood on the sidelines. He told us he was too small to play. But we saw something else in him. We kept inviting him in.

Over the weeks, Siphesihle began to open up. Not all at once, but slowly. He liked watching Cheslin Kolbe highlights. He said, “He’s not big, but he’s fast. He makes it.” That was the beginning.

Soon, Siphesihle was joining drills. He was running, smiling, shouting encouragement to teammates. By the end of the term, he told us, “Rugby helps me remember I am still a kid. It helps me forget the things that make me sad.”

That transformation was not just athletic. It was emotional. Rugby helped Siphesihle connect with himself, with others, and with hope.

Zanele’s Strength

Zanele, one of our female athletes, joined SOHK after experiencing bullying and harassment at school. She was quiet but powerful. On the field, she became a force of nature. She told us, “Rugby teaches me that being strong is not something I have to apologize for.”

Her confidence grew. She began mentoring younger girls. She started speaking up during mental health workshops. She even led a session on how to handle stress during exam season.

Zanele’s story reminds us that rugby is not just for boys. It is for anyone who needs to feel grounded, brave, and heard.

Our Curriculum: Tackling Trauma Together

At SOHK, our rugby sessions are always paired with our Trauma-Informed Life Skills Curriculum. We do not separate mental health from the game. We make it part of the game.

After each match or drill, we debrief. What came up for you emotionally? Did you feel angry, frustrated, excited, nervous? How did you handle that? What helped? What didn’t?

We use the game as a mirror.

Our coaches are trained in mental health first aid, trauma awareness, and active listening. They know when to push, when to pause, and when to check in.

We also host community circles where students can share stories, reflect on their week, and offer support to each other. These moments are just as powerful as any try or tackle.

Creating a Generation That Connects

When young people experience connection, trust, and teamwork on the field, they bring that energy into their daily lives.

We have seen:

• Students help classmates with homework when they used to compete

• Boys open up to female teammates with respect and curiosity

• Girls lead training sessions with pride and assertiveness

• Former bullies become peer mentors

• Families report fewer emotional outbursts and more openness at home

We are not creating perfect people. We are creating connected ones. People who can take responsibility, express emotions, ask for help, and work in teams. That is the foundation of every healthy society.

How You Can Support This Work

We need your help to expand this mission.

• Donate to help us provide uniforms, equipment, transport, food, and coaching

• Sponsor a Team in your local area

• Become a Volunteer Coach or Mental Health Mentor

• Share Our Work on social media or in your networks

• Host a Fundraiser for our sports and mental health programs

Every tackle, every try, every conversation on the field is made possible by people like you. Your support turns hope into habit.

Looking Ahead

We believe in a South Africa where no child feels alone. Where rugby fields become sanctuaries. Where mental health is not taboo. Where teamwork replaces trauma. Where connection replaces isolation.

With your support, we are not just raising athletes. We are raising leaders, friends, brothers, sisters, and change-makers.

Join us.

The next try scored could be the turning point in someone’s life.

There are boys in South Africa who walk to school with heavy backpacks, not just filled with books, but with burdens they should not have to carry alone. Some are caretakers to younger siblings. Others have lost parents. Many live in households where silence speaks louder than words, and emotions are seen as weakness. These boys are told to "toughen up," to "act like a man," but no one ever teaches them what that truly means. And so, they grow up with armor instead of emotional tools. They become adults too early, yet never fully equipped.

At School of Hard Knocks (SOHK), we are choosing a different path. Our NextGenMen program is a radical commitment to guiding boys into manhood with emotional literacy, resilience, self-awareness, and purpose. It is not about softening boys or shaming masculinity. It is about rewriting the script entirely. A boy should not have to suffer in silence. He should be allowed to feel, to heal, and to grow.

The Pressure Cooker: Understanding What Boys Face

In South Africa, we have a crisis. One that is not often spoken about in depth. Many boys in townships, rural villages, and urban sprawl experience early trauma, abandonment, exposure to violence, and a lack of nurturing guidance. For some, home is unstable. For others, school becomes the only structured space. Even then, schools are overwhelmed. Teachers are burned out. Mental health support is nearly nonexistent.

Without healthy outlets or role models, these boys turn to the only things available: isolation, aggression, online escapism, or street life. They are told to be strong, but what they really learn is how to suppress pain. The result? A growing generation of young men disconnected from themselves and from their communities. When boys are not given language for their internal world, they act out in the external one.

That is why emotional development cannot wait. We cannot leave it to chance or hope that boys will just figure it out. We have to teach it. And we have to make it cool to care.

NextGenMen: A Blueprint for Emotional Leadership

SOHK’s NextGenMen is more than a program. It is a movement. It starts in the schools, in the fields, in the classrooms, but it doesn’t end there. It follows boys into their homes, into their friendships, into their sense of self.

Our curriculum is broken into pillars:

1. Emotional Literacy

We start with the basics. What is anger? What is sadness? What does anxiety feel like in the body? Boys are given the language and tools to recognize what is happening inside them. This is a breakthrough in itself. Most of them have never been asked to name their feelings before.

2. Safe Expression

Through peer groups, journaling, movement exercises, and facilitated conversations, boys learn how to express themselves in a way that is authentic but safe. They learn that crying is not shameful, and that rage has roots. They begin to understand that feelings do not make them weak. Hiding them does.

3. Rebuilding Masculinity

We openly challenge the myths of masculinity. That real men do not show fear. That strength equals dominance. That vulnerability is a flaw. Instead, we show them that true strength is in self-control, kindness, honesty, and accountability. We ask them to define the kind of men they want to be — and we give them the support to become that.

4. Resilience and Mental Health

Boys are taught to manage their stress, anxiety, and depressive feelings in healthy ways. We introduce grounding techniques, meditation, breathing, physical activity, and emotional check-ins. We also educate them on what mental health actually is — a part of everyone’s daily life, not a taboo topic.

5. Healthy Relationships and Consent

Through guided scenarios and real-life role-play, they learn about healthy boundaries, mutual respect, listening skills, and the meaning of true consent. We help them understand power dynamics and their role in preventing harm.

6. Vision and Identity

We ask each boy, “Who are you when no one is watching?” and “Who do you want to become?” These aren’t just classroom questions. They become life anchors. With support, each boy develops a vision for himself that includes values, goals, and dreams — not just survival.

Real Boys. Real Impact.

We’ve seen boys transform.

There’s Sipho, age 14, who joined the program after multiple suspensions. At home, his uncle drank. At school, he fought anyone who challenged him. At first, he barely spoke. But something shifted in week four when he stayed behind after a session and asked, “Do you think I’m a bad person?” That moment opened the door. We worked with him one-on-one. He began to take ownership of his emotions, apologizing to a peer unprompted for pushing him. By the end of the term, he had perfect attendance and was nominated by his group as a “leader in progress.”

Then there’s Thando, who was always the quiet one. No one expected him to speak up, let alone lead. But during a storytelling exercise about pain and pride, he opened up about losing his mother at age eight. For the first time, his classmates saw him. And he saw himself. The next week, he offered to help new participants “feel safe” because he remembered what it felt like not to.

These aren’t success stories because the boys became perfect. They’re powerful because the boys became present — to themselves and each other.

The Culture Shift We Are Creating

The ripple effect is real. When one boy becomes emotionally aware, it affects the way he speaks to his sister, how he responds to pressure from peers, how he handles setbacks at school. It becomes contagious.

Teachers report fewer discipline issues. Parents notice improved communication. Peers begin to adopt the language of accountability and care. The school begins to breathe differently.

We are not just helping individual boys. We are helping entire systems begin to heal.

Social Research and Why This Model Works

A 2023 study by the South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG) found that more than 60 percent of youth aged 13 to 19 reported symptoms of anxiety or depression, but fewer than 10 percent had access to consistent support.

According to UNICEF South Africa, mental health services are mostly inaccessible in township and rural areas, and boys are far less likely than girls to reach out for help. This is not due to lack of need — it is because of stigma and silence.

Studies have also shown that group-based interventions focused on emotional literacy and peer support dramatically reduce rates of school dropout, substance use, and interpersonal violence.

That is why SOHK’s model is grounded in peer-to-peer connection, consistent coaching, and long-term engagement. It is not a drop-in workshop. It is a journey.

We Cannot Do This Alone

Every boy deserves someone who will look them in the eye and say, “I see you. I believe in you. Let’s build your future together.”

To continue and expand this program, we need your help.

We need more trained facilitators. We need transport stipends. We need materials, meals, journals, uniforms, and safe spaces. We need your presence, your support, and your belief.

How You Can Get Involved

1. Volunteer as a mentor, facilitator, or program assistant

2. Donate monthly or one-time to support our expansion

3. Partner your school or organization with SOHK

4. Share this blog and raise awareness

5. Sponsor a boy’s full program journey

You don’t have to change the whole world. Just change the world for one boy. The ripple effect will handle the rest.

The Future We Are Building

Imagine a South Africa where young men listen before they lash out. Where apology is a sign of strength. Where leaders in sport, business, and politics speak with emotional depth and courage.

Imagine classrooms where boys feel safe to express and explore. Homes where they are allowed to grieve and dream. Friendships rooted in mutual respect, not competition.

We are not imagining this just for the sake of a vision board. We are working toward it, every day, in classrooms and community centers across Cape Town and beyond.

You can be part of it. You already are.

Support School of Hard Knocks and the NextGenMen program. Not tomorrow. Not someday. Now.